This Week in Pretension: “Bon Iver” Lyrics

Yeah, I’ll admit it.  Justin Vernon makes music that makes you think everything is all very profound.  His drummer uses double bass on Perth, his shows include dim lighting with candles and the incessant gaggle of falsetto gang vocals makes me feel like my genitals are being caressed by a choir of angels.  But have you ever taken a deeper look at his lyrics?  It’s what I imagine a fifth grader would write if he was high on psychedelic mushrooms and had a crush on his earth science teacher.  In short, they blow ass, and furthermore, don’t make any sense.  Sputtering out words like “crimson” and “glacial” doesn’t make you an artist, it makes you an asshole.

I’m sure someone will blast me, saying, “You just don’t get it.”

That person is right, I don’t understand incoherent ramblings of a man that gains inspiration from feeding ducks freshly baked bread made from an earth oven.


“Don’t you cherish me to sleep
Never keep your eyelids clipped
Hold me for the pops and clicks
I was only for the father’s crib

Hair, old, long along
Your neck onto your shoulder blades
Always keep that message taped
Cross your breasts you won’t erase
I was only for your very space

Hip, under nothing
Propped up by your other one, face ‘way from the sun
Just have to keep a dialogue
Teach our bodies: haunt the cause
I was only trying to spell a loss

Joy, it’s all founded
Pincher with the skin inside
You pinned me with your black sphere eyes
You know that all the rope’s untied
I was only for to die beside

So itʼs storming on the lake
Little waves our bodies break

There’s a fire going out,
But there’s really nothing to the south

Swollen orange and light let through
Your one piece swimmer stuck to you

Sold, I’m Ever
Open ears and open eyes
Wake up to your starboard bride
Who goes in and then stays inside
Oh the demons come, they can subside”



One response to “This Week in Pretension: “Bon Iver” Lyrics

  1. How about the latent sexuality in “Blood Bank?” “It fucks with your honor/ And it teases your head”? I never knew that “candy bar” or “plastic little covers” were euphemisms:

    ‘Well I met you at the blood bank
    We were looking at the bags
    Wondering if any of the colors
    Matched any of the names we knew on the tags

    You said “see look that’s yours!
    Stacked on top with your brother’s
    See how they resemble one another
    Even in their plastic little covers”

    And I said I know it well

    That secret that you knew
    But don’t know how to tell
    It fucks with your honor
    And it teases your head
    But you know that its good girl
    ‘Cos its running you with red

    Then the snow started falling
    We were stuck out in your car
    You were rubbing both of my hands
    Chewing on a candy bar

    You said “Ain’t this just like the present
    To be showing up like this”
    AS a moon waned to crescent
    We started to kiss’

    Also, the fact he throws in a “fuck” makes it so deep, it’s like beautiful but raw.

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